25th September 1843
Being encamped this night at the ferry-crossing upon the Border, where the waters of Tweed run dark beneath a harvest moon
The morrow shall see me set foot upon English soil once more, yet my spirit knoweth not whether this crossing be a homecoming or a further exile. Four months have passed since the Great Disruption shook Edinburgh, when hundreds of our faithful ministers walked from the Assembly Hall rather than bow to the worldly powers that would choose our shepherds for us. I was among the throng that day, witnessing Dr. Chalmers lead his brethren forth, their faces grave with the weight of their sacrifice.
Since then, I have been as one cast adrift, following those who preach the Gospel freely in barn and field, sleeping beneath hedgerows and accepting the charity of the faithful. My shoes are worn thin, my skirts muddied from countless roads, and this morning I discovered fresh blood upon my stockings where the stones have cut through. Yet what are these small sufferings compared to the great sacrifice of Him who bled upon the Tree? The ministers have given up their manses, their stipends, their very livings – I can bear these humble thorns.
The ferryman speaketh of the thousands taking ship from Glasgow and Leith for America, where land may be had for the clearing and no patron may dictate how a soul shall worship. I have heard tell of whole congregations departing together, led by their Free Church ministers to establish new settlements beyond the ocean. Mayhap my wanderings, too, shall end in some distant shore.
Upon this threshold between kingdoms, I am minded to consider what heritage I carry within my heart. My grandmother was wont to speak of our forebears, who kept the faith during the killing times, when the dragoons hunted the Covenanters upon the moors. She taught me the old psalms in the Scots tongue, and how our people sang them even with the rope about their necks. ‘Tis this I treasure above all earthly inheritance – the knowledge that we have ever chosen the Word of God above the commands of earthly princes, though it cost us hearth and home.
In my mother’s family dwelt the memory of those who fled to Ulster when the Episcopal yoke lay heavy upon Scotland, and returned when liberty dawned. Their blood flows in my veins, and methinks it was this very restlessness, this refusal to submit the conscience to worldly authority, that stirred within me when I heard the call to follow the Free Church into the wilderness.
The night wind carrieth the sound of psalm-singing from the encampment of emigrants gathered near the inn. They sing the hundred and twenty-first psalm: “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.” Tomorrow’s dawn shall see us scattered – some to the kirk-less parishes of England, others to the ships that sail for the colonies, and I know not whither my path shall lead. Yet in this heritage of faith and sacrifice, in these songs that have sustained our people through persecution and exile, I find strength to take up my staff once more and follow where the Lord shall guide.
The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the Church, and though I be but a poor woman with neither purse nor fixed abode, I carry within me the unquenchable flame that no earthly power may extinguish.
Mid-Victorian Scotland, marked by the 1843 Disruption, saw hundreds of ministers leave the established Church of Scotland to found the Free Church, surrendering stipends, manses, and pulpits in defence of spiritual independence and opposition to lay patronage. The dispute centred on whether congregations or state-backed patrons should determine ministers, culminating in a mass walkout from the General Assembly in Edinburgh and the rapid creation of new churches, schools, and a training college under Thomas Chalmers. In the years following, Free Church communities expanded at home and abroad, supported missions, and influenced civic life; later unions – most notably in 1900 and a major reuniting in 1929 – reshaped Scotland’s Presbyterian landscape.
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